Stardate: Spring 2011

This class was extremely fascinating as a whole. To try to describe what it is and what you can get out of it is incredibly hard, but I will try. I can at least explain what it is about through my eyes, and what I got out of it.

Seeing Sideways doesn't so much teach as it does help you learn. Throughout the course, as long as you are honest with yourself and have an open mind, you will or at least can learn what makes you think the way you do creatively (and possibly in general as well). It challenges you to step out of your comfort zone, to reconsider things you thought you knew about yourself, and how to take charge of your own destiny. Through this course you have the potential to change your outlook on how you think, why you do the things you do, gain a better understanding of what makes you tick and how to use that. What you actually GET out of this course is entirely up to you though. I am not sure if that explained it really, but its about as close as I an come.

I struggled with this class for awhile. I was honest with myself when assignments were given, but at first I had a hard time stepping outside of the "professional" boundaries. I always thought design that was to be seen by others professionally should look a certain way so I never went with my first thoughts on what to do with any assignment for while anyway. I may have come off as "been there, done that" but really I was constantly asking myself some of the same questions Beth poses to everyone throughout the projects. I always tried something new though and even went WAY out of my comfort zone for one assignment. I think it was out of a few other people's as well (not in the class though really). I probably didn't gain as much as I could have out of the class, but I DID learn that design doesn't have to be one way or another. It can be client based or ME based and if I want to make a website that has blood on it, well that's ok too cause it's who I am =D. I always knew and lived by the "I am not society normal but I love it" mentality but never applied it to my design work. After this course....I do and I feel a bit more free because of it.

Other things I have learned:

1. Some people will make impressing instructors (especially the popular ones) their priority for what project they do. - I do not do this and neither should you.
2. "Formal education will make you a living; self-education will make you a fortune." ~ Jim Rohn
3. Just because your project doesn't get picked for Beth's wall of fame does not mean it isn't good enough. 
4. Crickets covered in chocolate are not so bad but meal worm cookies are not very tasty.
5. Stop motion animation is awesome!
6. I am way more competitive than I thought and had to get over it and learn #2.
7. I have more willpower than I could ever have imagined, and I imagined I had a LOT.
8. “Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.” ~ Dr. Seuss
9. I wasn't as "myself" as I wanted to or should have been when it came to "work" of any kind. (That has since been changed..a lot)

As far as future classes go, they are probably going to be instructor based. I don't think I can go into every class and have it be as free and open as this one was, but I can still be in charge of my own destiny. It's my journey (as Beth would say) so I get to choose my own adventure. Which means I will probably die a lot and have to go back a few pages every couple of choices, BUT eventually I will get there and if not, well at least it was a fun story.

Good Luck! Good-bye! And thanks for all the fish!

Remember that cool project that time???

"take a good long look at what your own personal wellspring of creativity and inspiration is"

Well mine is just...there. It comes from inside me and it comes from my surroundings, my experiences and things I see. I have a project...or I come up with one. My own usually start with "wouldn't be cool if..." and then I come up with a project. Inspiration is everywhere. If I am making a card...I look at other people's cards. A website for a handyman...I google those. I like to see what others are doing in areas I am not familiar with especially, and then try not to be TOO much like them but enough so that you know its a handyman. Make sense?

My true love is horror. and Musicals, but since I can't sing I just watch those and sing with my kids, who think I am the best singer ever! For now...

Anyway, after reading about the assignment and seeing the following "I ask that you make it memorable" I realized something. WHY does it HAVE to be memorable. Every project, job, assignment I work on is memorable in some way to me. So what does it mean to be memorable to you? Well I don't feel that I should rack my brain trying to come up with something that will impress you. That is not why I am here. You don't really have the right to ask me to create something "memorable". I will make what I need to for clients and what I have to for school and what I want to for me. And it will all be memorable or not its in own right. But I won't make something JUST to be memorable. I most certainly will not make something to impress the class, or you or anyone else. Do you know how much pressure that one statement put on the entire assignment? You probably do, actually. Well, I don't need that kind of pressure. I don't need it to motivate me and I think its the wrong reason to create anything.

So..for this assignment...my "memorable" piece is........

Reaction to class 4-11-11

Well I wasn't in class..again..though I do want to be I swear. My journey through this class so far is really more of a recap for me. I think this class is a fantastic idea! But the journey that Beth tries to help you take is one I have already taken I think. Its a journey of self-discovery and personal growth. One that helps you identify your creativity, your thought process, your working conditions and ethic. It challenges you to step out of your comfort zone both in creativity and life and be stronger for doing so. It helps you learn your strengths and not just in the creative process. Again, this class is a HUGE leap in the right direction for universities and should be made available to all and not just New Media students. But again..I knew who I was a long time ago. I have flushed out what makes me creative, how I think, when I think best. Fear doesn't get in my way for anything. I am constantly challenging myself to learn new things and adjust my balance of ME time and work time and family time. These things I already have done. I have kept an open mind and done the assignments as best as I could and some were fun.

I just think as personal growth goes...I know how I grow and allow myself to do so. I know my strengths and weaknesses. I don't let fear stop me from trying anything. I don't count success by how good others think I am. I count it by my ability to try.

Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure.
~ George Edward Woodberry

Why am I here...

I have asked myself this numerous times over the course of my life and with various meanings. Why am I here....in school, or in this relationship, or the BIG here = Life. Well I almost always find a reason for the small here's, but I don't believe there is a BIG here answer. I believe we are all here for a reason, one purpose maybe a few and then you are on the right track things start going ok for you or it at least seems to make some sort of sense. My only purpose may be to have had my kids, or hold a door open for a particular person, or donate that $1 at the checkout (that we do EVERY time they have one....), hell it could even be to have killed (or not) a spider in my house. My point...we never truly know WHY we are here on this planet, or why we came into existence at all. which might be why scientists keep trying to figure out HOW. At least if they figure that out, they will feel closer to the why.

Fear Class take 2!

Well I had to miss this class so I will have to stand by my previous post =D. Sorry (I think) that I didn't get to see the rest of the fear projects.

Strong Response....or not so much

I didn't really respond strongly to anyones yet...there is another session of fear projects though. I of course responded to mine, but I think i always will no matter how many times I see it.

Fear Project - The experimental part

So my project was a video about missing children set to music. Primarily about my fear of my son going missing. Here is the link to the video..

http://www.cs.iupui.edu/~sz2/n385/

I figured it would be a downer and I generally assumed most people wouldn't react at all. I was right. I didn't figure I was one of TWO parents in the room though. I felt a little old lol. I asked how people felt after viewing it and a few (only a few answered) said they felt either desensatized, sad, one said angry. Beth said it didn't "hit home" until I said that the kids used in the missing posters were real kids and from around IN. I did this on purpose. It sparked a discussion but it sort of turned away from missing kids to rape, losing a loved one etc.

People did ask me if I had anything happen that would cause me to think about this. A little girl I knew when I was about 15 was raped and murdered two blocks behind where I lived. She was 8 and riding her bike in front of her house when she was taken. There were a few other things that have happened to me that let me know at an early age that bad things can happen to little kids. Then watching SVU didn't help either.

I am paranoid a little more than I like to admit, but it doesn't come into play much. I am just extra aware of where my kids are at any given time. I hear all too often that "I just turned my back for a second" and I don't want to be one of those parents. I don't want to hover and be helicopter mom either though so I find a balance that keeps me at a distance so the kids can have a life and be independant, but close enough to be safe too.

If I had to do this again, I would adjust sound for sure lol, but I think i would have had to make a picture or video either showing or implying that it was MY son's body that was found to get a real reaction out of people while watching. I couldn't do that, even for a film...I barely made it through the missing poster but I knew it was necessary for the point and for my fear.